friendship

Friendship involves the willingness to invest time, effort, thought, and feeling.  There is no easy way out on developing friendships.  Most people want to be emotionally close with their friends.  One way of doing it is through communication.  For some people, communication is the center piece of friendship.  For most women, they talk not only the major issues in their lives, but also things that could be as little as sesames, and they want their friends to know and understand their inner selves.  Another way of getting emotionally closer with friends is sharing activities.  I enjoy doing things together with my friends, and sometimes even doing things for them.  We all want to be accepted by our friends even our flaws.  I think one of the purposes to having friends is to make one another a better person.  I think trust and support are the 2 most important elements of friendship because if you are able to trust you friends that would mean that you had probably developed a successful friendship.  Support is important because this is what friends are for.

opinions about the class

I really like this class because I actually learned from it, and I do like the self-learning experience.  Another reason that I like about the class is that it is an online class.  It feels great when I don’t have to go to school but still be able to learn and earn credits.  I like the part of peers posting and commenting on each other’s walls.  We not only learn from the book, but we also learned on the experiences of others.  The least favorite thing that I like about the class is also the blogging.  Throughout the course, we had the 12 hour restriction between each post.  I struggled with that because it was easily to be forgotten.  I think a way to improve this class to make the discussions be due on Sunday nights instead of Saturday nights because I would then have time to get together with my friends.

what I learned from the class

Over the course of the semester, I’ve learned a lot.  I learned that conflicts are natural in relationships.  No matter what kind of relationship you are talking about, conflict is definitely a part of it.  I also learned that the way of communication between male and female is different.  Men tend to talk less emotionally than women do.  I think this is probably why most girls are more talkative than guys.  The most important thing that I learned is the nature of friendship.  I learned how friendship could be improved and how to resolve the conflicts within.  I used to expect my friends to be there for me when I need them because I am always there for them when they needed me.  I then realized that I cannot put my standards on them because everyone thinks differently.  When my friends were not there for me when I needed, I was really sad, but we actually got closer after I’d talked to them about how I felt about it.  I really think that communication is the key to friendship.

changes in 50 years

                In this chapter, it mentioned about gay and lesbian marriage.  Gay and lesbian marriage have changed a lot in the past, but nowadays, most states of United States still do not recognize same-sex marriage.  A number of United States clergy perform ceremonies to unite same-sex couples, and many states have passed civil rights laws to ensure that same-sex partners have legal rights just like heterosexual couples do.  In my opinion, gay marriage will be legal in most of the states in United States in fifty years. Since majority of gay men and lesbians seek long-term, committed relationship that are stable and enduring, just like heterosexual couples do, they should also have their right to get married.  For most of them, marriage is not an idea or goal; they want long-term commitments that are based on values that confirm with their identities. I think it is also important to have the same right as heterosexual couples.

family

                Family is very important.  It is a group of people who are related, and they care for each other.  The most common form of family involves in marriage and cohabitation.  People that get married do not always stay married.  Family members put their family in the first place for any decision makings.  Before I make any decisions, I always think about how my parents would feel about the decision I made.  I care my family a lot.  When my sister got sick and had a fever, I did not sleep, instead I was watching over her.   A family is formed by two people getting together and that they did not know each other before.  They live together and try to get used to the other half’s habits.  Conflict-habituated marriage does not fit in my definition because in this type of relationship, partners are forced to live with each other even though there is no love. 

Engaging in Dual Perspective

In page 289 of the text, it talked about engaging in Dual Perspective. Dual perspective represents an understanding of our own perspective as well as another person’s perspective, thoughts, feelings, etc.  The ability to adopt the perspective of others is central to interpersonal communication competence. From the topic that I learned in the text, I understand that dual perspective is very important in a serious romantic relationship. We should get to know someone if we really love them. It is also important to share feelings between two people in a relationship. We want to feel that he or she takes our perspective into account when interacting with us.  Both people have to get to know other very well in order to engage in dual perspective.  I understand that sometimes it is very hard to consider others feeling, but once the relationship get into the I- thou relationship dual perspective is especially important.  

Love and Commitment

I had experienced a relationship with only love but not commitment.  Love and commitment are both important to a relationship.  Commitment always comes after love.  Commitment without love would not be fulfilled.  Sometimes people get in relationships just want to get over with someone sooner.  Relationships that lack either commitment or love often do not end happily.

A friend of mine had recently experienced a relationship with commitment but not love.  At first, everything was good, but as time goes by, she started feel like he just want someone to stay with him when he is alone.  Whenever he was with his friends, he never answered her calls, but when he was alone, that was the only time that he approached to her first.  She started to think back about the words that he said to her when they started the relationship, then she realized how stupid she was for believing his words. she finally got the courage to end this relationship, but he probably did not know how much she was hurt by him.